Brotherhood

This past weekend, I had another wonderful experience. I re-lived my childhood once again. At my uncle's place , their very close family friends had come over and these ppl had a kid - Sumi . A 2.5 yr old adorable little baby.
Friday entire evening and Sunday till i left Glasgow, she was with me. a real adorable kid. She had long curly locks reachin upto her waist, big round eyes and her tongue was a mile long...!!the spark struck between us the moment i arrived. she got close to me very fast. Soon we were playing Hide n seek, cats n rats, cooking, takin care of baby, house-house..and all possible games that she was conjuring up in her playful little mind. And i just sync'ed with her and went on. It was an amazing feeling just to see that glimmer in her eyes and the smile and laughter coming from a clean pure heart, just tingles in you and even now i can hear her laughter..so innocent..so full..!! We even played Horse and elephant:-)
At a particular moment i felt really bad that i had not been a good brother to my own sister Remya. She was born in 1989, December 2nd when i was almost 9 yrs old. And for me at that point,it was like my kingdom, where i had been supreme king for 8.5 long years...all of a sudden it was being snatched away by this person who had just come into the world. The intial days were filled with rivalry and hatred esp when the entire attention of every other family member..(who upto this point had none else to pamper but me) was turned to her. I just could not tolerate it. There were moments when i used to lock myself up in the room and cry for being ignored, for being thrown out of the lime-light. This was too much of a change for a 9 yr old boy. However as time went by and she started growing up,i started liking her rather loving her. The elder-brother-should-protect-young-sister feeling creeped into me by then. Moreover ihad also grown up by the time and my thoughts had matured(atleast i thought so). I was into my teenage years when she wanted to play with dolls and all the above mentioned games that i have mentioned. And as a teenager, i admonished such games being played anywhere near me. What would my cool friends think about me if they happen to know i play doll, house, elephant, horsaes etc.. with my little sister. And in no way was i ready to compromise on my prestige, status (typical teenager) in front of my friends.And thus though i loved my sister and adored her more than anything / anyone else in the world, I never showed it out. I jst kept al lthese feelings within me and just saw to it that she was ok always and never had to cry courtesy me.
There are times during my teenage years when i have overheard my sis complaining to mom that "ee achachan'u enne ottum ishtam alla...ente kude onnum kalikilla..baaki elavarudeyum achachan'maaru avarude kude kalikumallo" ("this brother of mine does not like me at all...he doesnt play anything with me...everyone else's brothers' play with them")and these were the times when beads of sweat(out of fear tht she will start hating me) used to form a thin necklace of guilt within me........but ispite of all this i never could manage to go down to her level and play with her...
years passed by..and now at times i feel guilty that me as an elder brother might have deprived my little one from happiness which is really unforgiveable.
Our relation improved specially after i joined college-R.E.C.-Trichy and as the saying goes Distance made the heart grow fonder and things became better and atleast upto my satisfaction level, I was being a better and loving brother...and it has been so till date (touch wood)!!!