I want to Break Free..........

There are certain situations in your life where you just are in a helpless condition. You want to do a lot but yet due to some obstacle...maybe you are far away or you may not be well equipped..whatever maybe the reason, u just cannot bring yourself to do anything. Things come to a stand still. The inner you wants to break free ...just burst out from the existing body and spread out my wings and just enter into another world.Jim Warren, a well known painter used to paint people ripping through the back of the canvas, symbolizing the breaking into another world. Imagine if we could really do that. The world that we paint, if we could rip the canvas and just enter into it and live there till your mind reaches saturation and then crawl back into this ugly world.Things are never the way they seem. When I was in Trichy, Blore used to be heaven for me. Filled with babes n pubs...it was heaven on earth - what else could a mortal ask for. And i was the happiest man on earth when i knew my posting was in this heaven...but then within 2 weeks of being in blore...heaven seemed more like hell!!There was nothing too exciting happening and then me and my room mates used to watch tv and see the life in europe and US and fantasized and wondered the days when we would be there surrounded by babes somewhere abroad..!!and voila..out of the blue..i get a chance to go to scotland...known for its rich brand of malt whisky than anything else.I thanksed GOD for this opportunity and reached here...the first week was full of enthusiasm gettin accutomed to this place...but then the cycle never stops..it continued..and once again the life here has become mundane...nothin exciting..nothing happening..!!The only time i really enjoyed was the road trip we guys had..just wish at times that i had pair of wings...just fly away into the horizon..just keep flying...hills on one side...plains and rivers on the other side...listening to the rustling of leaves...the calm water flowing ocassionally hitting the rocks and overcoming it completely to continue to its journey down to the sea...!!!!amazing right???I feel as if my hands are tied and i am being whipped by someone...i try to yell out but realise my mouth aint opening...my throat is dry...longing for a drop of water to wet it...its been ages since i ate..stomach is growling..my beard stings not having taken a shave for a week ...i smell blood...my own blood...which was beaten outta me...I am suffocating...not able to take a single whole breath...somebody help me...i close my eyes...and pray for an angel to save me from my distress...I open my eyes and i see myself floatin in mid air...i no longer stink...i feel fresh...there are no chains bonded to my legs and arms...i look down..i see my body...its dead.,.i am no more...free from the earthly bondage into which i was born...free from the corruption..free from all that evil....i cannot be harmed anymore by any Goddamned mortal...no one can bind me down anywhere...there are no restrictions...But....................................What happened to all those ppl whom i loved and cherished...they are still there in that mortal world...struggling out to meet and fulfill their own personal demands...and that of others...Can i enjoy my life after life with my near and dear ones struggling...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........is there never an end to man's demands...you want something badly...and when you finally get it...you want to go back to your old self and it just keeps repeating over n over n over...But many a times we do not realise that many of our troubles are not really troubles and if we look at it more closely, probably we could have got rid of it and attain complete freedom.Probably we need some third person to point it out to us that we aint bonded as we thought we are.  The short story The Man In Chains will give a fair idea of what i am trying to say.
Somebody SAVE ME!!!!!!!!